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Adopting a child is an experience that promises to bring great joy
as it changes a couple or individual’s life forever. But what happens
if the mother of that child wants to endorse their child? Those are the
issues that many adopting parents and birth-right mothers are facing
today. Many biological mothers want their child back. There are many
concerns for adopting parents to know- that there is the possibly that
the birth mother may file for the child. As a birth mother or the
adopting parent one must realize consequences that could lay ahead.
The legal and social transfer of all parental right,
responsibilities, and roles from one parent or parents, usually
biological, to a nonbiological parent or parents is the definition of
adoption. In such a transfer, adoptive parents accept the same rights
and responsibilities as the child’s birth parents would have had, while
the child becomes a member of a family that provides the social,
emotional, and physical nurturing that children needs to grow up to be
healthy, functioning adults. But there are some legal issues or
opinions that can lead to a halting backfire in the adoption process.
But, as the biological parent(s) and adopting parent(s), they must be
ready for the quickly, approaching pros and cons.
Throughout the adoption journey, the gardein must be prepared and
know what is best for them and their child. There are many positive
feedbacks to adoption. Children are in need of adoption because some
birth parents are unable or unavailable to provide adequately for the
needs of their child. Birth parents may feel they cannot take on the
responsibility of an unplanned child because they are too young or
because they are financially or emotionally unable to provide proper
care. They do not feel ready or able to be good parents. Most adopting
parents, although, feel confident that most birth-right mothers will
not seize their child back. Chris Intagliata, a mother of two adopted
children advises that " It [is] important to ask yourself what you can
handle. If you feel you can handle everything, that’s a good attitude."
Those are important notions adopting parents must do. Most of the time
adopting parents can handle the task but some times it backfires when
the biological mother or couple want the baby back.
Statistics show that the vast majority of independent adoptions in
California are completed without a hitch; less that 2 percent are even
contested. But when an adoption is contested, the anguish felt by both
the adoptive and birth parents is unimaginable. Linda Ribordy, a family
specialist who represented a birth mother in a legal case says that "if
a birth mother changes her mind, it’s automatic that they get the baby
back." But the adopting parents feel furiously and emotionally
different. "We have no legal status, no legal rights, none," says Inger
Bischofberger. "But he calls me Mama. The only thing that keeps me
going is that I can’t turn my back on him, I can’t just walk away from
him because all the grownups in his life have messed up."
Birth mothers shouldn’t gain their child back if they are not
financially ready. Usually greed and emotions will stand in there way
and they will want their child back. But many children as they grow
older question, asking - "Why me?" or "Why did my mom put me up for
adoption?" Sometimes the biological mother might fell that her child
will hate her as he/she grows older and never visit her. The birth
mother should really think about adoption seriously before putting the
child up or before trying to regain their child back. The process is
both financially and emotionally critical. The lesson learned in the
issue of adoption is not to have a child. Whether it is premarital sex,
age, or financial or emotional problems- one must be prepared for the
consequences ahead.
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