An individual who isn’t granted a familial environment that is fundamentally consistent and harmonious will be more than likely to develop inconsistently, primarily psychologically and perhaps even physically, in comparison to the accepted standards. This would idealistically make for a scenario within which the child grows into an adult who is not underdeveloped or rather, has not been given the chance to develop the behavioral and character traits considered as normal or average. It is barely surprising, thus speaking and considering the implications of this, that divorce is an issue that must be addressed as immediately and urgently as possible.

Introduction

The features and characteristics of the sociological infrastructures within which we contemporaneously survive and interact are dramatically advanced and developed in comparison to their counterparts of even as less as a decade ago. This, moreover, is something that is especially accentuated when considering the extent to which contentions in concern to such social issues as racial and sexual oppression and discrimination currently prevail. While it would have been considered normative for a woman to be beaten into submission by her man in the not so distant past; such an instance today would bring forth a media frenzy in probable addition to a court case based on physical assault. In spite of the evident evolution that the mass societal entity has experienced however, the prevalence of various social ailments, not unlike and usually relational too those that have been mentioned, continues to be experienced.

Addressing the crucial relevance of the divorce issue as it relates to children

Take into consideration, for instance, the issue of divorce, which tends to be a significant current social ailment, especially as a result of the fact that it has an impact on the collective pool of children/minors within a given society. This, moreover, is something that is especially emphasized upon when considering it in light of the fact that the party that tends to be the most crucially impacted in the case of married couple separating [on the pretext of a divorce] is invariably the kid (s). This is since, in spite of the fact that each of the spouses suffers a psychological blow as a result of seeing a relationship [typically] built on love deteriorating as a result of particular contentions; it is the child or children who are immediately affected as a result of a major rift in the parental guidance they have/had come to see as central to their existence.

The reason, moreover, due to the impact upon children is considered so crucial is that it is the children of today [within a given societal structure] that are to grow into the adults of tomorrow. The relevance of this lies within the fact that the upbringing of children, in concern to the features and characteristics of their school and home lives, comes to have an immediate effect upon the adults that they grown into. It is apparent, thus speaking, that a child who has had a significant portion of his/her early life made inconsistent as a result of an atypical familial contention such as divorce. Considering that childhood is one of the most crucial developmental stages of an individual’s life thus renders the issue of divorce one that is crucial in today’s society.

Considering some of the obvious impacts that divorce tends to have on children

For obvious reasons, children see divorce as something very traumatic. This is something that is especially justified when considering it in light of the fact that they [children] are often [and understandably] concerned with their own security rather than their parent's happiness. This, in turn is something that leads to the spawning of a host of psychologically impacting questions along the lines of 'What if they both leave me? ; What is it that I did wrong? ; Did I cause the divorce? ; Now what's going to happen to me? Etc. It must be taken into consideration here that one of the more fundamental reasons due to which the occurrence of divorces tends to affect children on such a crucial level is the inevitable establishment of a whole hew family structure. It must be taken into account, subsequently, that such occasions as the ‘ first birthday, the first Christmas, the first anything spent without a former spouse is traumatic’ (Children & Divorce, 2004).

This is since the former spouse will always represent a crucial half of the parental combination in the mind of child or children, this being one of the prime reasons due to which stepfamilies bring forth a host of contention. Stepfamilies can be very complicated. The number of children that are involved, and how the children get along with the new step-parent are very important factors to consider when dealing with the structure of a stepfamily. This set of contentions, moreover, is primarily resultant to the fact that a child or children abruptly thrust into the settings of a stepfamily will inevitably tend to the face compatibility issues with the step father, mother or sibling (s) (Loughridge, Fassler & Lash).

Furthermore, it must also be taken into consideration that the extent to which children tend to be impacted, respectively, by divorce is something that is defined and governed, primarily, by a set of variables. In spite of these variables [listed below] however, it must be considered that the one variable that children tend to be especially affected by is change (Parker, 2004). This is since they come to see the particularly contemporary parameters of their existence as something that is central to their world (s). The parents, siblings, home and hobbies that they are typically given to are something of a proverbial anchor of their actuality. It is quite evident, thus speaking, that a change within any of the given patterns will bring cause a change in the temperament/psychological stability of the child as he/she sees the shape of his/her world being altered as a result of a particular intrusion such as divorce. The following is a list of the variables that immediately influence the depth of the impact that a particular divorce would have on the child or children involved:

• The amount of involvement with the nonresidential parent
• The situation before the divorce or separation
• The residential parent's ease in adjusting to the divorce
• Parenting skills of both parents, agreement on child rearing, and discipline
• Approval and love from both parents
• Openness to discussing the divorce with parents
• Degree of conflict between parents
• Economic hardship
• Added stress factors such as moving, changing schools, parental remarriage.

(Extracted from DeBord, 2004)

When is a divorce the only way out

Children who have the misfortune of experiencing a divorce tend to be psychologically impacted in as much as being incapable, for obvious reasons, of seeing any affection for them within their parent (s). Although this sentiment is one that is especially subtle, the consistence with which it develops is something that is hard to ignore. This is since it eventually makes for a negativistic lack of the proper family norms and values that must be ingrained within the child or children in particular. It would, however, be extremely relevant to also consider here that research has shown that serious open parental conflict within the home probably causes more harm than a divorce, especially in the case of such a conflict carrying on and on. That is to say that given the circumstances, a loving single parent home an sometimes reflect the better alternative to two fighting parents in spite of the fact that children need close contact with both parents. And while it is sometimes easier if the parents are separated, this is a notion that tends to be accentuated even further when considering it in light of the fact that it is hard for bitterly angry people to work together to provide wise, coordinated post-divorce co-parenting (Tucker-Ladd, 2004). It must also be taken into account that children who have frequent contact with divorced parents that are still communicative enough to be still fighting are also at a very serious risk. Indeed, the more contact they have and the more switches between mom and dad's home, especially if they are still warring over custody and visitation, ‘ the more behaviorally and emotionally disturbed the children become ’ (Johnson, Kline, Tschann & Wallerstein, 1989).

More on the impacts that divorce tends to have on the children involved

It is quite apparent, thus speaking, that in spite of the fact that divorce tends to have an ultimately disadvantageous and deteriorative impact upon the children involved; divorce may sometimes be the only way out of a marital relationship that would be even more harmful in the case of lasting. Moreover, as has already been indicated within a latter portion of this paper, research shows that children from divorced families are more likely to consider divorce as a solution to their own marital problems (Grandon, 1999). This is something that makes it quite evident when considering that though divorce is sometimes the healthier solution, it is generally and fundamentally an unhealthy experience. Take into consideration, for instance, the fact that one of the greatest fears of a child, on par with change, is that of being abandoned and being left alone. This is a fear that is parallel to the fear of the dark in its primitiveness; while a child fears being alone, the inherent fear of the dark is related to this in as much as the fact that a child cannot distinguish the presence of another person nearby, consequently making for the sensation of being alone.

It must be considered, therefore, the fear of being abandoned is one of the most forthright phobias that a child experiencing parental separation will experience. It is barely surprising, considering the inconsistent and fickle nature of the psychological profile of children that they tend to develop a realistically impounded fear that the loss of one parent may lead to the inevitable loss of the other as well. In addition to this, it is extremely hard for children to adjust to a situation within which they are forced to choose sides. While neither of the parents may wield hostilities in regard to the other, it becomes downright impossible for the parent in custody to interact with the child or children without indicating a modicum of negativity towards the other spouse.

It is expressly for this reason that both parents need to make maximally sure that the children are convinced that that both mom and dad will:

• Still be their parents
• Will act like parents
• Will discipline them when needed
• Will protect them from harm
• Will follow consistent rules
• Will not lean on the child for support but will provide support for the child, and
• Will both love the child and will remain in the child's life.

(Extracted from James, 2004)

Statistical & factual data relating to the various impacts of divorce

The obviously detrimental implications of the increasing prevalence of divorces in the US is emphasized upon rather dramatically when considering that ‘ each year, over 1 million American children suffer the divorce of their parents; moreover, half of the children born this year to parents who are married will see their parents divorce before they turn 18 ’ (Fagan & Rector, 2000). Furthermore, according to the Federal Reserve Board's 1995 Survey of Consumer Finance, ‘ only 42 percent of children aged 14 to 18 live in a preferentially consistent family ’ (Fagan & Rector, 2000). In addition to this, current evidence in social science journals has been increasingly indicating that the devastatingly debilitative physical, emotional, and financial effects that divorce is having on these children will last well into adulthood and affect future generations.

Speaking in terms of some of the more obviously detrimental consequences that divorce tends to have on the generic functionality of kids, moreover, it would be relevant to consider that:

• Children whose parents have divorced are increasingly the victims of abuse.
• Children of divorced parents perform more poorly in reading, spelling, and math.
• Families with children that were not poor before the divorce see their income drop as much as 50 percent.
• Religious worship, which has been linked to better health, longer marriages, and better family life, drops after the parents divorce.

(Extracted from Fagan & Rector, 2004)

It must also be acknowledged that the psychological impacts of divorce include a heightened tendency for the development of introverted characteristics. This is something that is emphasized when considering that it has been conclusively proven that divorce creates more stress for children due to the necessitation of moving, changing schools and having an increase in short-term problems with their parents. ‘ This means children in divorced families are at greater risk of developing adjustment problems ’ (Lengua, Wolchik, Sandler & West, 2000). Put more concisely, this means that children [in divorced families] tend to have exceptionally greater chances to suffer from problems in concern to adjusting to typically essential social bonds and relationships. It would, moreover, also be relevant to acknowledge that the degree and nature of the impact that a divorce may have on a child or children is something that is largely governed and influenced by the intrinsic temperament of the child.

This is something that is made even more evident when considering it in light of the fact that children react in different ways with the onset of divorce. Some will be extremely sad and show signs of depression and even sleeplessness. And while some children may become psychologically scarred from the experience still others may not be emotionally affected at all. It is imperative to consider that, in addition to the temperament of the kid (s) the extent and nature of the impact is secondarily influenced by how well the parent (s) are able to handle the situation (Kalter, 1989). It is important therefore, to consider that ‘ not all children respond the same way and parents need to be sensitive to each child's personality and needs ’ (Gordon, 2001).

Further Analysis: considering the temperament factor & relative adjustment issues

It would be of utmost relevance to thus take into account the fact that children tend to typically be affected by divorce related issues upon a psychological level. The introduction of change into a familial connection as intrinsically taken for granted as that of parent (s) and child/children is something that tends to be fundamentally disturbing to the child’s conceptualization of his/her surrounding. It is utterly natural for a child to place all of his/her faith and trust in the individuals that he/she has perceived as parents since birth. This understandably leads to the inception of severe psychological conflict when the brain comprehends an instance of one parent going away and consequently upsetting the harmony of the familial structure that the child perceived as being the center of his/her world. This deteriorative relevance of the upheaval of the structural features of family, moreover, is something that is emphasized upon even more strongly when considering that the effects of divorce are common in adult children too. The effects of divorce are not isolated to adolescents and minors; indeed, contrary to popular belief, adult children too, tend to be affected with equal significance in the case of their parents going through or considering a divorce.

Take into consideration, for instance, the implications of the fact that adult children tend to be more perceptive in concern to distinguishing why the divorce is happening. While the connotations of this would appear to be positivistic, it must here be acknowledged that this exceptional level of comprehension only serves to render the situational impacts graver. This is since ‘ adult children tend to recognize the social, moral and/or ethical implications of their parents' behavior ’ (Little, 2004). The subsequent capability of coming to terms with their parents' mistakes, and accepting parental behavior and attitudes that they may not agree with ironically tends to render the situation even more difficult for adult children. In spite of the fact that adult children may not blame themselves ‘ as many small children do, adult children often blame themselves by thinking they could have prevented the divorce if they had realized what was going on ’ (Little, 2004). It is quite apparent, thus speaking, that the prime causal factor as a result of which children of all ages are affected by divorce is the perception of the structure of one of the most relevant social ties being shattered.

Generalities & Recommendations

It is as a result of this that the child, sometimes out of a sentiment of bitterness at the decision of the parent (s), tends to develop negativistic views of the societal surrounding (s) within which he or she interacts. It is not uncommon for the child to place a part, sometimes even a major part, of the blame for the parents’ divorce upon the particularly respective society. It is, moreover, as a result of this that children from divorced families tend to experience fluctuations in concern to the temperamental and coping traits. These fluctuations tend to yield significant negativity in as much as being crucially hindering to the development of social bonds and relationships necessary to a socially harmonious existence (Lengua, 1994). This is something that can be avoided in as much as ensuring, as far as possible, that the child understands the implications of the divorce and why it was a measure that was necessary to take. This is an especially relevant measure since it considerably helps in regard to calming the tumultuous stream of emotions that children experiencing divorce are usually experiencing.

It is essential, in this case, for the parent (s) to welcome rather than avoid the issue of discussing the features and characteristics of the divorce. It must be considered that avoiding a discussion of the issue would only make for a gradual increase in the propensity of increasing psychological unrest and consequently, dysfunction. It is of utmost relevant for parents need to help their children understand that the family will learn to adapt to the inevitably new schedules, new environments, and new ways of communicating (Behrnan, & Quinn, 2004). It is essential, in order to ensure that the child is minimally affected by divorce, for the parent (s) to:

• Encourage the child to talk about how he or she feels.
• Answer all questions about changes taking place, and keep lines of communication open.
• Be sensitive to signs of depression and fear. Seek professional help if depression is prolonged.
• Plan special time together.
• Reassure your child that everything will be all right, just different.
• Keep daily routines intact.
• Respect but monitor, the child's privacy.
• Don't dwell on adult problems.
• Encourage the child to say how he or she feels; avoid expressions like ‘be brave’, ‘don’t cry’ etc.

Thus speaking and taking into consideration all that has been said and discussed to the impact that divorce does and may have on children of all age groups, it is quite apparent that this impact tends to invariably be disadvantageous. This, moreover, is something that has repetitively been illustrated and emphasized upon within the entirety of this paper. In addition to this, furthermore, it would be noteworthy and relevant to simultaneously acknowledge the immoral disadvantageousness of embarking upon a relationship as relevant as that of marriage only to have it disintegrate a respective period of time later. It must be taken into account that divorce must be reserved as the last resort in concern to settling a marriage that has corroded as a result of respectively particular contentions and disagreements. Parents should be considerate and logical about making decisions with no regard to the impact that these decisions could bring to bear upon their child or children. It would be unfair to children to have issues of their safety and well being ignored upon the pretext of the parent (s) being more mindful of the stress and objectives that they [parents] are going through.

Similarly, parents forcing children into undesirable situations without first attempting to discuss the situation with the child in order to facilitate better adjustment capabilities is something that must be avoided at all costs. It would, moreover, be conclusively apt to consider that the most effectual countermeasures in regard to addressing the impact that divorce has on kids would be to strive to get the kid to understand why exactly the divorce was a necessary measure. Children must be reassured that the divorce only took place due to a lack of consistence between the two parents and must be strongly maneuvered away from the notion that they are in any way responsible. Even the smallest and most insignificant suggestion of this sort would undoubtedly make for an exceptional heightening of inferior complexes and introverted traits within the character profile of the child. Most importantly, this would make for a significant degree of self-demoralization and a lack of self-esteem upon the grounds of seeing oneself as being the conductor of familial inconsistence and disunity.

Keywords : Children and Divorce, Sociology, Term Paper

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